Life so far..

Mochi, where in the coconut are you?! Has this blog turned into a "taro adventure" ?!! Things really keep changing! It is as if there was a wheel that was spun and now it will keep spinning for the rest of time. Each micro-movement brings about a change and when a full revolution has occurred, you can barely catch your breath to prepare for another one. It is awesome,and exciting! The fact that you don't even know what is headed your way and you also don't have any idea what way you are going until you are directed somewhere else. But it really isn't all that exciting when you have to worry of what comes next and having to prepare your mindset at all times, because it can get exhausting. >>The bottom line, as I have observed so far, is to keep looking forward and stay excited for whatever that comes your way. :)

Hey, its our 1st ANNIVERSARY!!! :)

Keep the fire going! :)
LOVE YOU!!

2011 Resolution

I would like to begin this blog post by stating how this year has not been the best year for me! However, this year has provided me with countless valuable insights that is going to be beneficial in the future :)

Let me begin by stating:

The most tragic thing that has ever occurred is... losing what I thought was the dearest love of my life.

The best thing that has ever occurred is... I have found a worth fighting for a cause: createanuproar.org //(yes, what you would expect from a bio major)

The worst experience I had this year and ever was... hitting rock-bottom drunk, which made me understand the dangers of alcohol.. and will never do that ever again. Sorry, liver~

The most memorable thing that happened was... being able to see my beloved family back home :)

So much staring-into-space moments this year! I'm going to try to minimize the level this coming year... and i'm going to chop my hair off :)


Goodbye, 2011. I'll never live in your time ever again! Thanks for the memories!

respect.

to be frankly honest,
I haven't tried 80% of the things I talk about,
experienced 80% of the things I give advice on,
seriously committed to 80% of the things I worry about.
You could also probably add an "over-" prefix to practically anything I do and that would be me... overthink. overexaggerate. overworry. overhypothesize. overassume. Those aren't even words - that's the sad part.

I think the one thing I'm blessed with despite my over-some mentality is that I just get lucky with my assumptions a lot. But - on the other hand I also fall into assumptions that are seriously stupid or self-centered.

Things Change

In a lifetime, you hear that phrase over and over. Sometimes you take it lightly, as a joke, to get back at someone, or things do change in real life. The previous post I wrote was genuine. Right now, I do feel inclined to believe in what I wrote but I also think it is a fair game to move on. It hurts and it is so very uncomfortable. You just want to cry and die. I can't fully bear the pain and I don't want to bear the pain that I subconsciously created my own anesthetic. In the back of my mind, I still want to hang on, but the longer I do, the worse my heart rips and aches. I don't know what the other person is thinking. Whether or not he is hurting. Was he already over me? I know he is able to shield himself, but I don't know to what degree. I think I had extreme expectations coming from him that I misconstrued the signs. I might have hurt him, I do not know. He doesn't talk to me. I am sad to think that there was nothing special in our relationship in his perspective. I wish he would stop me, fight harder for us, give it everything we've got. Then again, we have nothing right now. I am happy to know that I was changed for the better, because I knew him. The memories will live.

My Speshulll Person

The person that started out as my coworker became my boyfriend and eventually turned into my bestfriend. We have had numerous fights and madness because of some wrong-doing he's done, or just something I didn't like or thought appropriate. I have attempted to break our relationship, and each time we keep getting stronger--passion, as well as ties. Its truly amazing to have someone like this, who never gives up on you because that person knows that you aren't ready or don't want to give up on them. I just hope and wish I remember this same admiration about our relationship when the going gets tough because thats when i become ready to hand over the relationship. I really, really admire this man. I also hope he will stick around so that someday, I can look him in the eye to say how deeply I have fallen for him and to keep falling for him forever, without any doubts. Most definitely.

mochi's dilemna.

what if.. he's lying?
what if.. i'm losing trust in him?
what if.. this is the sign?
oh fugh all these what if's.
TARO. I'm stuck in a dilemna.
What to do? :(